This is Possibly How I Came Into Existence

Today, amidst my monthly closet-dive, I stumbled upon this treasure of all treasures - a photo of my parents on their 1983 honeymoon in Canada. 

Wow.  That must have been one week of pure, absolute salacious bliss.

It is nice to know that my mother and father were once an inconceivably sweet couple who dressed in matching outfits.  Raincoats, at that.  On a lightly cloudy day.  Do you see rain?  Because I don't.  Maybe there was the remote possibility of a storm (100 miles away), but my bullshit detector is flaring up at the moment.  I mean, if those glasses truly were the style of the times, I can't imagine one would stop short of wrapping themselves in a bright yellow plastic bag (with flannel lining?) for the whole world to see.  And don't even get me started on the fucking hat.

For a new set of reasons, I will once again declare that I AM SO GLAD THE 80's WERE NOT A PART OF MY ADULT, OR EVEN ADOLESCENT LIFE.  I was a mere child who probably assumed every day to be a lesser version of Halloween.  Then Halloween really would arrive, and everybody looked exactly the same, save for some cheap vampire fangs or broomstick prop.  And the candy, of course.  And those poisonous, child un-friendly glow sticks that I always chewed on.  

My problems now are beginning to make much more sense.