LOLBush

Courtesy of the Guardian UK, courtesy of Steph at the workplace -














More here!

Just Try And Tell Me This is Not Fly.

I feel fulfilled.  Finally, after multiple failed attempts, I've obtained a download of the song, "Are You Jimmy Ray?" by...uh, Jimmy Ray.

For years this song has been stuck in my head.  It manifests inexplicably, and at very inopportune moments. 

For your viewing pleasure, here is the music video:

HOW FANTASTIC IS THIS?!

Oh Jimmy Ray, I am feelin' dangerous!  Therefore, I might as well admit - at least once, back in the day, I tried to imitate the ghettofab dance moves in this video.  Because in 1997 / 1998, this was not only forgivable - it was actively encouraged, as a sober venture even! (...Albeit by individuals equally as sad as myself).   I survived it, and considering, I think I've turned out well - for example, I've never expressed interest in becoming a cheerleader.

Now please excuse me while I download an embarrassing amount of Coolio, Jock Jams, and SKEE-LO!

I KNEW IT

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/08/14/spies.revealed.ap/index.html

Julia Child? Spy.

Ain't No Party Like a Massive Software Party

...Because where else will you find drunken synchronized swimmers? Seriously, they were blasted. And not very synchronized. Unfortunately, my camera died before I could capture the fully inebriated glory, but here's a shot of the beautiful crowd (or, about 1/5 of it) -














Also, fire makes me totally HOT. Get it? Like, sexy hot. (HAWT, if you will). ...Ha! I am so clever with wordplay!














<----Teh Sexxxxay. One drink later, and hawter still -














Many thanks to my industry hook-up! High five FREE DRINKS and FOOD. *Emphatic Fist Pump, Arsenio-Hall-Dogg Pound-Whooof*

The World Will Implode Tomorrow

Why? Because I've been invited to a VIP House Party at L.A.'s Custom Hotel - a burlesque show / circus riot for the world's most beautiful, discriminating people. You guessed it - software engineers!

I will be rubbing elbows with the Who's Who in the world of programmer geeks (and the like). This is undoubtedly treacherous, as my entire being is something of a magnet (though mostly for flamboyant gay men, and cat hair) - but, magnets are bad for computers. I, as history has revealed, am bad for computers. One can only assume that my presence at this event will explicably cast a pox on the hosting company's integrated computational solutions system. Or whatever the fuck they produce.

They have an open bar. And fire-breathers! I do believe this to be a winning combination, at least.

Questions I'm Most Often Asked by Strangers

1. Are you a dancer?
Often followed by an intensely creepy remark such as, "you know, YOU MOVE LIKE ONE."

2. Have you accepted Jesus into your life?
To this I most often respond with unintentional sarcasm. Like, "Jesus is totally my master. I love being a serf for Jesus." I'm trying to seem sincere; but I will invariably fail each time - whether by vocal tone, facial expression, or inappropriate word choice. That, and the proselytizing population can inherently detect that I was raised by hippies/devil worshippers.

3. Are you from Russia or something?
Actually, I am. You may have gathered this by noticing my indecipherable accent and the fact that I carry vodka with me everywhere I travel. Also, the babushka is a flagrant clue.
---

I'm beginning to wonder if I would elicit any stares should I combine these observations into one glorious fashion statement. If I publicly exhibited myself as a Russian ballerina/nun, would people even take a second glance? Or is this style entirely applicable to my disposition? I'm beginning to think that it is. I've got the Russian look, whatever that is, and I totally have access to a nun outfit (we've got an ex-nun in the family!) All I need now is a pink tutu, a pair of flats, and a tailor who is willing to create something atrocious for the sake of my whim. I should really contact Project Runway.

I May Want to Stay Here

I've been engulfed by fresh paint fumes since 7:45 this morning and I've got a live version of Pearl Jam's "Yellow Ledbetter" stuck in my head. Truly I am feeling a catharsis at this very moment.