Apple Support at Its Finest

"I Think Your Marriage Is a Glitch"

Since I've Been Apathetic and Deliquent

Here is a list of stuff from the past month or so.

-October 18th:  Saw Patti Smith in concert at the Orpheum.  Rock ON!

-October 31st: Halloween in West Hollywood.  Went to Carnaval and a club.  I was a dominatrix.  Had my ass licked (in an abrupt sneak attack) by a drunk and disorderly man who, in turn, was elbowed in the kidneys and beaten with the metal base of my whip.  His reaction?  "Ohh damn.  My bad."   He did not understand my costume.

-November 4th:  Spent the night listening to the neighborhood Obamarama.  And watching streaming CNN.

-November 8th: Attended a dinner to benefit the charity "Smile Train."  A friend / former co-worker recently established a non-profit organization in memory of her niece.  The evening was hosted by her group; friends, family and volunteers.

-Today:  Poked and prodded a German co-worker until he faced me in a very austere, German manner and stated, "Hey.  You will pay for that."  With the accent!  LOVE IT!

-Tonight:  New James Bond movie.  Midnight showing in Westwood!

Happy Year to Me

Today marks the one-year anniversary of my move to Los Angeles.  Living here has been good for me, and I am eternally thankful for this time....

Oh THANK GOD, IT'S ON YOUTUBE!

Here's a great video to imitate in the confines of your lonely bedroom.  It also gives mundane household chores a little pizzazz!:

Does Not Belong to Me

Here we have the pig version of the evil angler fish from Finding Nemo. 

I am afraid to fall asleep tonight.  Dare I chance a nocturnal disembowelment?

It was found at the 2008 Hershey, PA classic car show/swap meet.  My father could not resist taking a photo and scaring the bejesus* out of me by sharing via e-mail.  I don't think I had much bejesus* in me to begin with, but if I did, by GOD, it's absent now.  I have a sinking feeling that I could use some to courageously battle the demon pig image which haunts my brain.

*As referenced by a totally reliable source, here.

Connotations Differ on the West Coast

Smell of burning leaves in Pennsylvania:

Fuck yeah, we're gonna have s'mores!  And hot chocolate!  

Smell of burning leaves in California:

Shit, we might die.  Somebody call the fire department.

Self-Assurance Free with IKEA Purchase

Furniture assembly instructions from IKEA - these bring so much joy and amusement to my life.  They also cause me to feel unduly brilliant.  Whoever created this sequential illustration deserves some sort of award for that.